...Finally...

The brilliant masterpiece of J. K. Rowling and the journey of Harry Potter finally came to its end... and a proper ending as it should be, for one who has gone through more than any other people -both Muggles and Wizards alike- without ignoring the sacrifices, the price...

In this seventh and last book of Harry Potter, I personally think Jo has overdone herself, every scene, every chapter had a sense of purpose, a sense of living, every character, every known character, had a role however insignificant it might seem, or it may be.

That differentiates the book from the others most is the pace, unlike its predecessors, which tension and pace usually start slowly, or even if it start with a jolt, it usually slowed down or less tenser the next while Deathly Hallows kept building the pace, the tension, never really stopping.

It all started by the meeting of Voldemort and his followers in Malfoy Manor. Snape has gained full trust from the Dark Lord, being seated on his right while the Malfoys, Lucius, Narcissa and Bellatrix were the other way around. A figure was suspended in mid air, and it appeared to be Charity Burbage, a Hogwarts professor of Muggle Studies who -it seemed from outside- resigned from Hogwarts. It didn't take long for us to find out her fate, she was murdered by Voldemort himself, starting the Death Count  we -readers- know. From Snape, Voldemort know of the Order of the Phoenix's plan to move Harry to safety, now that he was about to turn 17, a wizard's age where there was no longer any restriction of using magic.

Meanwhile, Harry was prepared to leave the 4, Privet Drive and separated with the Dursleys, now that the charm that protected him was about to lose its strength with his coming of age. It turned out that it was indeed the Order who moved Harry, exactly like Snape told Voldemort, so they were bound to fail, except that they used decoys, turning six of the Orders into Harry. All of the returned, save for Mad-Eye Moody and Mundungus Fletcher, the former, dead; the latter, runaway.

There were few peaceful days, including Harry's birthday and Bill and Fleur's wedding. Rufus Scrimgeour made an appearance, bearing the news that Dumbledore left a will for them. Ron was left a Deluminator -a Dumbledore-made match that can take and give light-; Hermione was left The  Tales of Beedle the Beard; and Harry was left his first Snitch and the sword of Gryffindor, only the former that was given to Harry while the latter was supposed to be Hogwarts'. Leaving the first trail of riddles, of clues to the close friends given by Dumbledore. It was when the wedding, not long afterward Bill and Fleur was married, the news came in the shape of Kingsley's Patronus: 'Scrimgeour's dead. Ministry has fallen.'

Using that momentum, the three, went on their own journey to find and destroy the Horcruxes on their own, despite many others who was willing to give them help.

Fear. Uncertainty. Suspicion. Confusion. Frustration. Desperation.

Those feelings were drawn throughout the book, making us tingle with apprehension, wondering if our heroes were going to the right direction, doing the right thing... and it was dark and gloomy. However, there were times, as if to lessen the tension, where we could have a good laugh, mostly due to Ron.

Harry's faith to Dumbledore was put into test, triggered by Rita Skeeter and Muriel Weasley about Dumbledore's childhood, family and friend. Despite the nagging doubt, he followed his instructions by doing everything necessary, from drinking Pollyjuice potion, infiltrating the Ministry, stealing from Umbridge -she's among few old characters who made another appearance in this last book-, moving from one place to another to breaking into Gringgotts.

Ron, being as insecure as always, left them because of their lack of direction, even in the end, being a loyal friend, he returned, by the help of the Deluminator that appeared to have other uses and he became very reliable, as reliable as Hermione could be. Many people were forced into hiding, running away to escape death, especially the Muggle-Borns and the Blood Traitors.

Towards the end, truth was slowly uncovered, the path was clear for Harry which to take. After all the places they went, they ended exactly where they started: Hogwarts. Snape became the Headmaster after Dumbledore and leading along with his fellows Death Eaters and with Harry's appearance, the whole Hogwarts was aroused to fight, both teachers and students, both living and dead. Dumbledore's Army. The Order of the Phoenix. Everyone was prepared for the final battle on Hogwarts ground.

Compassion. Love. Courage. Friendship.

It was compassion that saved Harry from Wormtail. It was love that saved Harry from Voldemort. It was courage that saved Harry from Death. It was friendship that  differentiate Harry from Voldemort. There were many other examples of how these  have saved lives and given hope, light in the darkness.

If there was one word to describe this final installment, it would be Redemption. Many characters we've hated was shown their other side because of simple act of compassion, of love. Dudley, for the last time showed his gratitude to Harry for saving him from the Dementors. Kreacher, a loyal house-elf who only asked for being treated kindly and fairly. Dobby, a free and proud house-elf with courage beyond his race and size. Percy Weasley, a Gryffindor who didn't afraid to admit his mistakes. The Malfoys, who only wanted to keep their family together. Severus Snape, a Gryffindor-hearted Slytherin. Gellert Grindewald, Albus Dumbledore, those who learned from their past mistakes and do better for the rest of their lives.

Harry was indeed the Hero, not because his super strength, not because he knew more spells or magic than Voldemort, but because of his courage, his compassion, his love, his sacrifice. He conquered his fears. He overcame his fears by facing it, by accepting it, unlike Voldemort did.

But Harry wouldn't be a Hero if he were alone. It was not a single man triumph. None of them were perfect, they were human, they were flawed, but because they're together, they fill in each other.

It never was. It never is. It never will be.

Jo's achievements would be difficult to be achieved by any other authors to come, even not impossible. Every journey has its beginning and its ending. I want to thank Jo, for its achievements... for bringing us the world and the characters we've grown to love and admire...

Thank you very much Jo... Harry will be in our hearts.

That's one hell of a title huh?

*laughs*

I'm continuing my fic, right now I'm writing new chapter for What Are We?

And....

I've done five pages, FIVE pages! Yay! That's pretty good, considering the average page of my story or the minimal page of my story is twelve pages. So...YAY!

XDD

While I'm writing, I've already had another idea for the next chapter. Huurah! However, I still need some help so I can finish it quickly, get it to my beta reader and finally, publish it!

Your help is needed, whether simple words of encouragement, reviews, or even prayers for muse to come smoothly. I'll be forever grateful :D

Okie, for those who know me, know that I also make fanfictions. My specialization is Naruto fanfiction. You could see my fanfics here In FF.net, I've made four fanfics, three Naruto fanfics and one FFVII fanfic. I haven't updated slash continued my works, due to my academics (the major I take is pretty well known for its heavy load of tasks, making me prefer to choose arts major), matter of priorities... and the lack of muse.

Maybe because I've got my attention elsewhere, such as watching TV Shows, or Series. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've never watched one. I like to watch all the CSI franchises (CSI, CSI:Miami, CSI:NY), I love detective stories.

Well, I think I gotta explain few things first. In my country, to watch certain channels that showed movies or news from other countries we must subscribe to a TV cable provider, and there are many of them but only few that reach my house. After changing providers, finally on the third provider we try (our current provider) we've got a pretty decent list of channels, which included: HBO, HBO signature, Cinemax, StarWorld, StarMovies, AXN, and MTV. Okay, there are two channels that showed good TV Shows: Star World and AXN. The best for me is AXN, because it shows the latest seasons of CSI, CSI:NY, Lost and Supernatural, and other series such as 24, House, Numb3rs, Alias, 4400. While Star World shows new series such as Criminal Minds, Bones, Eureka, Ghost's Whisperer, Angela's Eyes and Heroes, Grey's Anatomy too. With such good watch, how can't you get hooked? Considering my national TV channels content are really... hopeless to watch. =_=

So right now, my fanfiction orientiation turned to TV Show fanfics, even sometimes I drop by in Naruto fanfics, only checking those in my fave list and SasuHina fics. The fandom I currently like are Heroes, Gilmore Girls (I've always been rather lenient to RoryJess and since Milo Ventimiglia both played the handsome Jess and later Peter in Heroes, it only makes me love the pairing more) and Supernatural. This last series only have two main characters, because of it, the strength and success of the series rely heavily on both of the actors' performance and by chance of luck one of the actors is Jared Padalecki, the same person who played Dean in GG. Yeah, it all returns to GG, and darn, can't help to be jealous of Alexis Bredel (Rory), surrounded by handsome guys. However, I think the best performance came from Jensen Ackles, other that I think he's better looking than Jared *grins* but really, his performance is superb! His character, Dean Winchester is one of the most complex characters I've ever seen.

When I'm writing fanfictions, I'm best at character development or character study and it usually reflected in every character's relationships with each other. I can divide it into three groups: lovers, friends, and family. The last one is the rarest one I see and really like to see it explored like the relationship between the Petrellis in Heroes and the Winchesters in Supernatural, especially regarding the two brothers. So I can't help to wonder why people like to see them paired up (slash) instead of keeping it normal, a deep bond between brothers? It offers more depth and more interesting, at least for me.

So right now, I'm really enjoying my holiday by watching good series with good performances and trying to connect once again to my fanfics so I can continue them.

Any idea to help me with the fanfics or what should I do during my holiday?

Yay, finally the semester ends! Well, not yet, really, I'm still waiting for my results.. and gosh, I just realized how long I haven't posted in this Blog. Oh dear, my apologies my first blog...

Now I've got my fingers crossed so I will pass in flying colors (at best) or pass every single subject safely (at worst) and kept praying for the best. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with the lots of leasure time I have... but one thing for sure, i have a bunch of series to watch.

In my country, there is cable tv with good movies channel such as HBO, Cinemax, Star Movies, Star World and AXN. The last two channels is my favorite, because they  show good series. Here's my movie schedule in every week:

Monday - CSI:NY at 9pm (AXN) and Criminal Minds at 9pm (Star World)
Tuesday - Supernatural at 9pm (AXN) and Bones at 9pm (Star World)
Wednesday - Eureka at 7pm (Star World) and CSI at 9pm (AXN)
Thursday (or Friday?) - Lost at 9 pm (AXN)
Sunday - Ghost Whisperer at 8pm (Star World)

All of those in AXN are the latest season while those in Star World are the first season. Even though in reality, the season's already over, but well, it's better than nothing right?

Not to mention my collections of DVDs, I've yet to watch. Such as CSI from the first season to sixth, Smallville that I missed third to current season, 24 sixth season, Supernatural first season, Bones first season, Criminal Mind first season... and loads of others I've yet to watch.. enough to fill my time during the long break :D

And dang, I really need to polish my English again before I continue or even start new fanfics. Hope the muse comes easily now. =)

Really, this month of January often comes as the good and the bad month altogether. First, because it is my month of birth. Second, because it was the day when the first semester ends and it makes a bad month... because somehow... my grades are... failing.

Insert curse here.

I failed one class, and one class I thought I'd be able to pass. *sighs* I suppose I was so confident that I overlook many things I should be able to make me pass. Foolish me. How true that the word arrogance will be my downfall?

However, despite my disappointment and sadness of failing a class and low grades, I'm terribly calm and relaxed. If not detached, mind you. I can get over it easily, but I can't tell my parents about it.

I have been putting off the day when I must tell my parents eventually. The first one to know was my mother, and surprisingly, not as bad as I thought it would be. An angry look and a short lecture in my room then I was left with my own devices. Then... the one that I dreaded, telling my father... my mother pressed me to deliver the news by myself but I didn't have the courage so in the end, it was my mother who told him. I was prepared to get a long winding lecture and a pretty threatening look from my father but... I guess, my luck hasn't run out.

CSI was currently running. XDD

So the attention was pretty much divided between me and the TV series. Yay, thank you CSI~!! XDDD It's funny that I was saved by a TV series.

Yeah, I'm pretty much doing lots of watching TV series lately, all CSI franchise, NCIS, Grey's Anatomy, Numb3rs... Anything I can lay my hands on. I swear my eyes will be needing an aid of eyeglasses XP

Muse... has gone over the roof. No muse for my fanfics.. unless it's related to the TV series I've been watching since... forever? :D Great. Sorry guys. I'm truly sorry....

I do realize the lack of update in this blog. Forgive me.

I do update my LJ more often though, considering the easier access and update.

And.... mostly the lack of update in my stories.

Honestly I have a bunch of drafts in my computer, waiting to be finished. But still... I seem to stumble to find the right words to knot everything into finished stories or to be exact, chapters.

It's close to the end of the semester, all exams and assignments are all out as usual. Despite my own resolution to be better this semester, it seems my will ain't strong enough *sighs*

Dang!

XDD

And the strangest thing is, how calm I am. In a sense, how cold and detached I am.

It scares me sometimes, that I can be so detached and apathetic. It's not that I want to, but I dunno, that's the kind of person I am. However friendly I can be, however how caring  I can be, this side of me will often surface.

I think I'll have a lot to think for in my upcoming birthday. *guess when it is~! ^^*

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Subhanallah... let's start over together, let's become better than yesterday!

I've just read a friend of mine's journal and she was writing all of her thoughts about how often Islam is misjudged by others, how easily others judge others just because they're Muslim, just because they only saw a glimpse of Muslims who happened to be bad examples of Muslims. Especially with the Pope's 'mistake' in mentioning Prophet Muhammad SAW. I feel her pain, as much as I feel my brothers and sisters-bound-by-Islam's pain, as much as I feel for those who are misjudged by others.

It is always indeed painful to watch every single time when Islam did appear in the spotlight it's always not in good impression. It hurts. Very. I can't describe it as detailed or as clear as my friend, it's painful especially when you can't do much about it, when you feel helpless.

Islam. The word is derived from Arabic, salima, which word is built from Aslama, that means safe, surrender, obedient, and peace. It's not taken from its founder's name, unlike other religions. In a way, to explain, to emphasize, that this is not a religion that is founded by a human, not a religion made by Prophet Muhammed SAW. Islam is like and also unlike all the religions before Islam. The same but also different religion with the religion brought by Abraham, though it was the root.

Ever since Islam's presence made known in the world, mainly in Middle East, Islam is spread peacefully not by force, it is always for the last resort. It could be seen clearly by those who try to learn Islam history. The truest example could be seen during Muhammed's reign. Only ignorance can make people failed to see this, when they choose only to believe only what they hear, what they see, what they read, while they CHOOSE what to hear, to see, to read, to believe. We see what we want to see. We hear what we want to hear. We believe what we want to believe. Generalization is always the hardest enemy to fight, just looking to a part than the whole. It's always easy to hide behind our own ignorance.

There are always dark side of history, there are times when Muslims made mistakes, simply because they are human, as much as all of us is. Imperfect. Bound to do mistakes. Who doesn't? But it doesn't mean it's right to blame it on the religion. As Illy has pointed kindly in her post, each people has different interpretations, there are always the lenient, moderate, and hard or fanatics. It's inevitable in any religion, in any belief, in everything.

It's no wonder, after we're being given the reality of what happened because of religion, we can't help to ask? Why God created religions if it only becomes a reason to fight one another, to hate one another, to kill one another? Why is always religion to be blamed? Why not the people, who either used it purposefully or inadvertently? Is there any religion that suggests war instead of peace? I believe the answer is none.

If we ask the question then it's the same with asking why there are races? Why are there countries? Why are there groups?

Why are there differences?

Simple, yet difficult. The only example I can give is rainbow. Rainbow that is formed from different colors, from one single color. You may draw your own conclusion. Difference is... the way we look at it. Sadly, most of us take difference hard, difficultly, how we treat people differently just because they're different.. the geeks, the famous, the beautiful, the ugly, the list goes on...

It's never easy. Let's just start from ourselves, from our family, from our friends, from our enviroment. A single step for every journey. All great things start from small things. I'm truly grateful to find people who are able to look further and deeper of things than simply accept it for what it seems.

Look underneath the underneath. Don't judge book by its cover.

Let's start to care. Let's start to be objective. Let's start to fill in others' shoes. Shall we? Together. Side by side. Hand in hand.

With here I wanna apologize to all of my readers...

That for now, I'm unable to update any of my stories.

School is taking most of my time, and there are a lot of activities in which I joined.

And... muse has not yet to come to me. Just cross your fingers and hope it comes, because once it comes, there's high possibility of an update.

 

I don't intend to make this LJ for my useless blabbering, instead I intend to use it for my creative works. But I can't help not to write about my current thoughts. It's related to my position as one of the moderators in certain mailing list. The mailing list is very active and crowded with thousand members though lately the mails that filled the inbox (which needs to be moderated first through us) is rather... unproductive I may say... The mailing list has pretty strict rules and we've made it clear since the first time new members join us since we're very active. So we (moderators) need to be very strict for our own good, included giving warning or reminder for the members who break the rules.

However, not everyone is able to understand what we do, why we are so strict until we can't afford there are times we look like a bunch of villains or gangsters. (hahahaha GANGSTER!! *rolls on the floor laughing*) We didn't stop reminding them until we give them warning, at first we give it publicly but recently it's given personally.

We want the mailing list to be fun and enjoyable to every member but fun doesn't mean we have freedom to do everything we want, does it? There are always rules that follow, it's inevitable. If there's no rules you can expect spam, junks, meaningless emails that's better deleted, unreadable emails, dangerous emails because it's regarding certain topics... Especially our members vary from all kind of people of all age, of all occupation, of all backgrounds, we can't afford to have them arguing everyday in the mailing list, can we? Where's the fun?

These past months our members are increasing but the quality of the emails is decreasing so we (moderators) decided to be stricter, not we weren't already. And there are people who protest, and they are supposed to understand the importance of being strict to the rules, being senior member. We don't enjoy our job really, but we can't help it. If we're too lenient, there's still a possibility of rulebreakers. If we're too hard, we gets complained and they quit the mailing list. So, you get the dilemma we're in don't you? If they can understand by being sent a warning once, we won't do it often and there will be no use of sending these warnings anymore. But still... how can we trust them if they don't even learn?

*sighs*

People tend to act know-all when they're not doing it on their own. Admit it, all of us have that tendency. Easier said than done. Because this time I'm not in the place of a member I am able to see things more clearly. Maybe the fault is mine, not the other moderators or the members. But if one another keep blaming each other, not trying to understand each other... All there is chaos. Just look in real life. There's a lot of example of those.

Humans are really complex beings. Sometimes I'm so tired to be in contact with them that I want to retreat in the safety of my home and never to get out until I'm all refreshed and ready. But this is the real world, where you meet and live with so many different kinds of people. There are times when I just want to break down and cry, and hide from the world, thinking myself no worth for anyone and no one will realize or miss my absence. But I always know that I'm worth for someone and there are people who will realize or miss my absence, even how few they are. And that's what matters most.

I'm still learning. We won't stop learning until our time is running out. We do mistakes and learn from it. None of us perfect. I will keep walking on the path that has been laid for me, I'm going to stay on this path however hard it may be and I hope I won't be completely alone on my journey. I truly wish... you'll be there to remind me, to guide me, to accompany me in choosing and walking down the right path...

~This last paragraph is meant for Him spesifically... but I truly wish it's included my family and friends~